I woke up this morning with two very bad things staring me in the face. The first thing being the DirecTV receiver had stopped working. The second was that we were taking our son to a weeklong camp. Both of these things were going to cause problems for the rest of the day, I just knew it.
The first problem to tackle was the TV issue. We are a family of couch potatoes and the no TV thing was just too much to think about. However, one call to customer service brought more bad news. The receiver was having issues and a new one needed to be sent. In just 2 FedEx delivery days, this problem would be solved. However, that’s 2 days without TV. And in my house, that’s too long.
The TV thing was only an issue for my husband and me. My son was going to be at camp for a whole week. This was the second bad thing about my day. It was Father’s Day. What a way to have to spend this day. It’s supposed to be a day for the family to celebrate together, but we were taking the child away from the family on this day. But we knew he would have a good time so we put our sadness aside, put on a happy face, and made the three hour drive to the campsite.
Once our son was safely deposited in the mountain encircled camp, we began the long journey home. We knew there was no television, so we had to make plans for when we were home. A stop at Blockbuster brought a DVD rental-my husbands choice. I had to work on my demo so he chose one he wanted to watch, “Gran Tourino”. This movie ensured that there would be noise from the television. But the inevitable happened. The movie ended. The quiet managed to work it’s way into our house. It was deafening.
There were no sounds of our son breathing. There were no sounds of his sock footed feet as shuffled down the hall to go to bed. We decided to go to bed. But we turned up the radio a little louder so that we didn’t have to listen to the lack of sound coming from his bedroom. I remember the days before the child. We ate, watched TV, went places, did things. But I don’t remember any of the specific things we did.
I dread going home all week. There will be no one to greet me. No one to hug me or ask a million questions that I have already answered a million times. Maybe the TV receiver will arrive and then I will at least have the noise of the television. But it won’t be enough to cover the silence created by the absence of our child. Friday can’t get here soon enough.
mary frances said,
July 7, 2009 at 23:59
You really tell a lot about yourself in this piece, Anne! It made a big impression on us all when you read it.
beth said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:00
Anne,
I completely understand this feeling. I think it may be aprelude to the “empty nest syndrome”. Perhaps next time you can try to focus on the positives of him being gone or keep yourself busy. I do that sometimes, of course it only works until its time to tuck them into bed.
hildegard said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:07
Hi Beth,
I remember the year before my daughter went to college. I thought I would grieve my self to deth, but when she actually went, she was so excited and happy that I loved it for her. My husband and I went to campus often. (She was at Morehead, and he was the director of the MSU Ashland campus.) Actually it was a renewal of our lives and beginning of her independence. We are still very close.
Hildegard
JD said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:12
I have haunting memories of a pair of snow days during which our diect tv was not workingand I was at home alone with my two boys. In the middleof the second day I climbed onto the frozen roof and beat the ice and snow off the dish. It worked!
Ian said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:17
I would be very interested to read about your son’s perspective on this event. I wonder what he was feeling.
I think this is a cool piece for you to archive for your son. Maybe you can send it to him a little later when he’s older and maybe has some kids of his own.
Oh, and
http://www.hulu.com
if your TV ever stops working again.
Shuang said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:22
I don’t have TV at home. I was like isolated from outside world once I am home. But I enjoyed it.
I love this revised piece even better than the first draft. It’s not the lack of sound that drove you crazy. I believe it is the concern, the worry. You are a great mom, Anne.
Shuang
Beth Lloyd Boster said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:27
I remember a 4-H campfire rule. Silence is golden. I hope you will find your silence as golden and not dread the quiet it brings.
Blessings,
Beth (Pre-K)
Lorie said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:31
This was a scary piece for me to read, Anne. Some day our babies will grow up and our house will sound like this all of the time. What will we do when we have to rely on our husbands for entertainment?
Lorie
Lorie said,
July 10, 2009 at 15:34
It’s me MF. I like the revisions. It would be cool to hear Jackson’s impressions of being separated from his home and parents. I don’t remember even thinking about my mom during camp! sorry!
great story!!